CINDERELLA, by Tom Smith
PATCHES
Miss, you really shouldn't go into the kitchen. It's not for guests.
"Miss?" Patches, don't you recognize me?
PATCHES
(Shaking his head.)
I'm sorry, Miss.
CINDERELLA
Patches, it's me: Cinderella.
PATCHES
Cinderella? As I live and breathe… How… I mean…?
CINDERELLA
It's a long story, Patches, but I guess some dreams aren't too big to come true. Will you look at all this? It's more than I ever imagined! And you: look at you!
PATCHES
I'm the Princess's steward for the night! How about this coat? And these shoes? I look like a proper gentlemen.
PRINCESS GOLDENROD
Steward? Steward!
(HE hides behind CINDERELLA. PRINCESS GOLDENROD does not see HIM, but sees CINDERELLA and looks threatened.)
How mortifying: to be looking for my own servant.
(SHE exits.)
PATCHES
Whew! What a pain in the posterior!
CINDERELLA
Who was that?
PATCHES
Princess Goldenrod of Floratina. She's here to marry the Prince.
CINDERELLA
Really?
PATCHES
Yes. But I doubt she's even noticed him yet. She's too busy looking to see if anyone here is prettier than she is. She's very, very vain.
(Music strikes up another dance. PRINCE CHARMAIGNE enters the middle of the room, looking for PRINCESS GOLDENROD.)
CINDERELLA
A dance! Oh, how lovely!
(The dance begins. PRINCE CHARMAIGNE sees CINDERELLA swaying to the music, is completely smitten by HER, and leads HER out onto the floor.)
Your highness!
PRINCE CHARMAIGNE
Will you do me the honor…?
CINDERELLA
Oh, I can't! I can't dance at all.
PRINCE CHARMAIGNE
Nonsense.
(THEY start to dance. CINDERELLA indeed can't dance.)
CINDERELLA
I'm hurting your toes. I'm sorry.
PRINCE CHARMAIGNE
I was trained to be a soldier. Surely I can withstand a few—
(HE winces.)
CINDERELLA
Oops!
PRINCE CHARMAIGNE
You're just nervous.
CINDERELLA
There's reason to be!
PRINCE CHARMAIGNE
Why, because I'm a Prince? Nonsense! Surely you've danced before?
CINDERELLA
Only with my broomstick.
PRINCE CHARMAIGNE
Well, then, just imagine that I'm your broom.
(CINDERELLA looks shocked.)
It's all right! It might be nice to be a broom for a little while. No royal duties to perform; just keeping the house clean.
(CINDERELLA smiles.)
Now, close your eyes.
(SHE does so.)
Pretend I'm your broom. Listen to the music. I'll lead you.
(SHE improves, but just a bit. SHE gets nervous and opens her eyes, looking down at her feet.)
Don't look at your feet! Look at me.
(SHE does.)
And stop counting in your head. Talk to me.
CINDERELLA
(In time with the music.)
I-don't-know-what-to-say.
PRINCE CHARMAIGNE
Your shoes: are they made of glass?
CINDERELLA
Yes.
PRINCE CHARMAIGNE
I've never seen anything like them before. And on such dainty feet.
CINDERELLA
You wouldn't know that when I dance, your highness.
PRINCE CHARMAIGNE
(Laughs.)
Where are my manners? I haven't even asked you your name yet.
CINDERELLA
Cinderella.
PRINCE CHARMAIGNE
I'm Charmaigne.
CINDERELLA
Oh, yes! Everyone knows you, Prince Charming.
PRINCE CHARMAIGNE
Charmaigne.
CINDERELLA
What did I say?
PRINCE CHARMAIGNE
Charming.
CINDERELLA
I'm sorry, your highness. I'm still so nervous. My heart is fluttering.
PRINCE CHARMAIGNE
It's all right. For you, Cinderella, I'll be Prince Charming. Why haven't I ever
seen you at one of my parties before?
CINDERELLA
How do you know you haven't?
PRINCE CHARMAIGNE
(Smiling and looking into her eyes.)
I'd remember you.
CINDERELLA
Oh, my…
(The dance ends.)
Thank you, your highness, for the extreme honor.
(SHE starts to rush off.)
Don't leave! Can't you stay and talk for a while?
CINDERELLA
(Sees STEPMOTHER, PETUNIA and GLADIOLA approaching.)
I…I can't.
(SHE rushes off. PRINCE CHARMAIGNE touches his fluttering heart.)